To captivate others, you must first find the beautiful in yourself. And then learn to appreciate this beauty and present this beauty. Say, it’s not easy? Three experts will help you look at yourself in a new way.
You dream of impressing
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a colleague? You hope that a friend of an older brother will pay attention to you? It is worth starting in this case, our experts are sure: if we do not love ourselves, then we don’t care too much about appearance;and vice versa – showing yourself in the best light is easier for someone who feels their value.
Contrary to the advice-in order not to say calls-fashion and beauty industry professionals to follow the current trends, we attract others with not deliberate brightness, but naturalness. In a word, the algorithm is clear: to find the beautiful in yourself, to evaluate it, and then learn to present it. Three specialists: image-education, psychoanalyst and teacher of yoga-will help to look at himself in a new way, restore healthy narcissism and understand the hidden mechanisms of our charm.
“Living body is a mobile body!”
Irina Boyarskaya, Yoga-therapist, Ayurveda specialist, television-oriented psychotherapy
“Our body becomes attractive to another, not thanks to thoughtful poses and gestures. Attracts calm, confidence, openness – the internal state that we translate through the body. Living body is primarily a mobile body! The longer we maintain flexibility, the more confident, more joyful and, accordingly, more interesting for ourselves and others.
Practices such as yoga, Pilates, Qigun, Taichi, invite us to listen to the sensations. Poses for spinal stretching and opening the thoracic region, combined with deep breathing, form posture, “internal rod” in the body – help to find calm, confidence. And physical exercises make the body a graceful, stronger and more healthy.
But most importantly, bodily practices teach to be attentive to themselves. They invite us to observe ourselves, as we are. Classes will benefit if after them we feel uniform heat throughout the body and lightness, if we received energy, and not lost. And the better we feel in our body, the more we will attract another person. “.
“Show the best to the world”
Kira Feklisova, image
“To reveal the best qualities and show them to the world will help the exercise. Take a sheet of paper, divide it into two parts: “inner world” – “external expression” – and start talking with you.
1) What are my most unusual character traits? Whether this is expressed in the external image? What can be added?
2) What talents do I have? How can I show them through the external image?
3) Why I love myself? How can I express it?
Write the first thing that comes to mind. And do not skimp on warm words and compliments. And then give yourself pleasure with experiments: try a new haircut, color, texture, image. Move in stages, asking questions: I feel? How I find myself? Do I like myself?
In search of the best version of ourselves, we often focus on the heroines of books, films, famous personalities. To harmoniously integrate your favorite details of the image in your life, ask what exactly attracts you to this person, how he lives? Imagine this heroine instead of yourself at work, with friends, in typical situations.
Most likely, you will immediately feel discomfort and understand that it is enough to take only one or two elements from the hero’s image-buy a brighter lipstick, make a new haircut and change shoes. Maybe it is these details that will fill you with force.
If it is difficult for you to accept yourself and you in any image will not recognize yourself in the mirror, use the help of another person whose gaze is not muddered by strong emotions. This can be an image specialist, psychotherapist, personal coach “.
“To like yourself is to enjoy your actions”
Svetlana Fedorova, psychoanalyst
“Each of us has a wonderful. But we, unfortunately, do not see ourselves as we are. We feel attractive when someone else feels an attraction to us (in a broad sense), when we become visible, interesting for him. We focus on the reflection, assessments and views of other people. And this image is inevitably distorted.
It’s not about real appearance, but in our unconscious idea of our appearance. It depends on bodily and mental experience. A child whose mother feels irritation or disgust is concerned and begins to unconsciously offer her “improved” versions of herself in order to achieve love.
If at the stage of separation (2-3 years) the mother did not allow the child to separate and create her identity, then he will later look for support in the outside world-trying to imitate someone more successful, which will also not bring him closer to harmony with himself.
What can be done today to restore self -esteem if your experience is based on rejection situations? Surround yourself with loving, interested glances from your past. Give yourself the admiration that you received from those who believed in you, appreciated and loved – even if not mother, but father or grandmother, or at least a classmate. Remember what beauty they saw in you, live these stories again.
Also create a qualitative relationship with yourself – taking care of the body, developing the mind, causing yourself joy. To like yourself-this means, first of all, to enjoy something. At what moments you are liberated and happy? When you dance or sing, enjoy delicious food, listen to music or walk along the picture gallery.
Turning to states when we feel good, we calm down, restore self -esteem. The attraction to life is contagious, it is it that fascinates others, causes a desire to share it “.